Still wondering...

I wrote the following back in 2010 and I realized last night, I'm still wondering up to now... It's a really sad world of friendship for me. Tsk!

Last night, while trying to get some sleep, my mind wandered... and wondered. How come I am so good in organizing and even so eager to be there for friends but when it is my turn to need them, they are not there? 

A friend of ours lost his wife. I immediately messaged friends and acquaintances in Facebook about it, asking for prayers, telling them where to go and if they could offer their sympathies. My close friends and I went twice. We stayed for a while both times. I even encouraged them to really go. And we all did. But when my grandmother passed away, only a few offered their sympathies. Only two went to the wake. I understand that a wife is more important than just a grandmother in the scheme of things but it was my grandmother and she's very special to me. My friends know it, most especially the ones who are really close to me. 

I just felt so bad while wondering why last night. My two close friends stayed a while but they didn't return. One of them was living just a street away! 

Nakakasama pala ng loob when you think about it. Maybe I ought to stop being the good friend all the time. When my brother passed away, wala halos pumunta. When my mom passed away, they went but only once and for a short while only. That was my mom ha! 

Nakakasama ng loob.