Someday...

More often than not, I get this overwhelming regret for the wrong decisions I've made in the past. I feel it in my whole being. Sometimes it becomes too much that I would get depressed over it.

I know you will say that I should get over it because it's in the past and I can change my future blah blah. To tell you the truth, I know that and I've been trying to change my future for the past couple of years now. Trying to make a better tomorrow all the time. But there were lapses in judgment. There were visits from the past that I had no control over. There were times when I felt I was being haunted by my past...

I keep telling myself and other people that I am happy where I am now. I am actually happy except there's always a "but" in most of my sentences. So I don't know if something's lacking in my life because I am still plagued with so many regrets and worries.

I could have done better. I could have listened more. I could have said no. I could have turned my back before it was too late.

:(

Someday I will learn to totally forget the mistakes I did. Someday I will be able to forgive myself.