Still wondering...

I wrote the following back in 2010 and I realized last night, I'm still wondering up to now... It's a really sad world of friendship for me. Tsk!

Last night, while trying to get some sleep, my mind wandered... and wondered. How come I am so good in organizing and even so eager to be there for friends but when it is my turn to need them, they are not there? 

A friend of ours lost his wife. I immediately messaged friends and acquaintances in Facebook about it, asking for prayers, telling them where to go and if they could offer their sympathies. My close friends and I went twice. We stayed for a while both times. I even encouraged them to really go. And we all did. But when my grandmother passed away, only a few offered their sympathies. Only two went to the wake. I understand that a wife is more important than just a grandmother in the scheme of things but it was my grandmother and she's very special to me. My friends know it, most especially the ones who are really close to me. 

I just felt so bad while wondering why last night. My two close friends stayed a while but they didn't return. One of them was living just a street away! 

Nakakasama pala ng loob when you think about it. Maybe I ought to stop being the good friend all the time. When my brother passed away, wala halos pumunta. When my mom passed away, they went but only once and for a short while only. That was my mom ha! 

Nakakasama ng loob. 

Friends, then and now.

I treasure all my true friends more than they can ever imagine.

;)

Happy birthday!

By June of this year would have marked our 19 years of friendship. I remember the first time I saw your name written on the same paper where my name and those of others who passed the entrance exams in Bachelor of Science in Commerce. I was even laughing because of your last name. We have the same set of first names and it amused me so much because it was the first time I saw someone with the same name as me. Little did I know that we would become the best of friends just a couple of months after.

We became such great friends. You were the twin sister that I never had. I was in awe of you and I was so grateful to have found a friend who was so much like me in so many ways. But, I guess, our friendship was not meant to last. You were not meant to stay as my friend for the rest of my life. Things happened and we were not friends all of a sudden. It hurt me so much and it was and will be one of the greatest regrets of my life.

I am reminiscing the good old times because today is your 36th birthday.

Happy birthday tukayo!

Even if we are no longer friends, I still consider you my twin. And I still pray for all the best for you and your family.

Just be yourself!

Do you want to pretend to be somebody you're not? It's hard. It can be tiring and stressful. Happiness will come and go and it won't stay because there is always something that is not right.

So why pretend when you can be free by being yourself?

Think about it!

Happy weekend!

Tremendous favor to you and me.

Let go of those who don't contribute to anything positive in our lives. There are people who seem to be sweet and kind in front of us but actually poison our spirit with what and who they truly are. Wolf in sheep's clothing. I know some people who are like that. I try to stay away from them as much as I can.

It will be a tremendous favor to you and me if we can be as far away as possible from this kind of people.

Happy Friday people!

:)

I wonder...

Sometimes it makes me wonder who are really there for me through the good and bad times. I know a handful who will be there for me but most are doubtful.

A simple support they can't be there, what more for the tougher ones?

Sigh.

Sometimes it really makes me wonder the kind of choices I made in the past...

:(

Just breathe. And let go.

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is the best option for you.

Let go and let God.

Happy Sunday everyone!

;)

I miss my girls! ♥

Of all the friends I've had over the years, three have stood out and remained close to me. Tim, Jing and Shen. They've been my friends for close to two decades now, can you imagine that?

We regularly see each other, the four of us. But it's been a while now that Shen's living in Chicago so it's just the three of us on dinner and coffee-and-desserts. We see each other at least once a month or every two months. It's not enough but then we talk to each other, all four of us, everyday on Facebook and Twitter and via text messaging.

It's still not enough at times. I miss my girls! After this novena that I'm attending at the moment with the family, I think I'll ask Jing and Tim out for dinner...

Amici, here we come!

;)

You make me feel special! ;-)

Thank you to everyone who sympathized with the family in the recent passing of my grandma. Jhing, Kate and Shen... thank you so much for the concern! To all those who said kind words to me through Facebook, thanks as well. The same goes to Jhing's family, Jing and Che who went to the wake.

Thank you.

And to everyone out there... have a nice day!

;)

BFF: Do you have one?

Best Friends. The people who you haven't seen for months, but nothing has changed at all.

I thought I had but then, well, circumstances changed it. I lost the two I thought would be my best friends forever.

I am happy I have other friends whom I can consider to be my friends for life. We may not be as bonded as I was with my two old ex-friends but I still appreciate the fact that they have been with me for almost two decades now and have remained the same even though there were periods of time we haven't been in touch.

I remain really close to three female friends: Tim, Shen and Jing. They are my friends I am hoping to keep for life.

I do wish I still have constant communication with May but I think being a wife and mother tend to make you change your priorities in life. Plus distance can sometimes make it hard for friends to see each other regularly. That's the thing with May and I. We used to work in Ortigas in different companies but we see each other almost daily after office hours. Nowadays, with May taking care of her husband and kid plus with me working at home, we hardly see each other. We send each other text messages from time to time but it's not the same as when we were in the same area each and every day.

I had so many friends who came and went. I am thankful for all of them as I learned from all of them one way or the other. I am also thankful I still have a handful that I can call real friends.

:)

Friends are the spice of life!

I have so many friends that I met and became close with. But as I grow older, I am slowly weeding out the not-so-good ones. I am not ashamed to admit that I am now down to a handful.

They say that it is better to have one friend of great value than to have many friends of little value. And I know it's true! Would you like to have a hundred friends seventy of whom are not true to you? I don't think so.

But let me just say that whatever bad experiences we may have had in the past with back-stabbing friends, it shouldn't stop us from treasuring the true ones and making new ones along the way. We need friends in our lives!

Happy 1st of November everyone!

;)

Jhingaling

I call her Jhingaling. It's a pet name that I and one other friend gave her back in sophomore year high school. I met Jhing back when we were second graders and decades after, we're still in touch and are closer than ever.

I really thank the Lord for friends like Jhing who's been with me for years and one that I know is truly concerned with what's happening in my life.

Tried and tested friends

There was a period in my life, when I was younger and unwise, that I 'collect' friends like I collect my books. I chose them based on their 'blurb' or sometimes on their 'cover' and then I spent more time with them than with my real friends. Whoever was my 'friend(s) of the moment' was(were) given almost all the extra time I had.

But I am happy to say that I already learned my lesson. I've learned so well that I am now wiser... I am sticking with friends who've been with me through thick and thin! Good friends from high school. Very few from college (and that includes my very great friend May). A handful of friends I met through blogging (Mousey and tita Liza most especially!). And two former co-workers.

I think I'm old enough to know that not every one I meet in this life are for keeps. There are some who will just 'pass by' to teach us a lesson or two. The ones who managed to touch my life one way or the other will forever hold a special place in my heart. Even those who've hurt me. I still thank them from the bottom of my heart because they taught me to value my real friends more. They taught me to stick with friends who value me the same way I value them. They taught me that in life, not all your friends who are laughing with you will be there crying with you when you are down on luck. Most will surely be laughing at you because they think you deserve it! Trust me, I've been there.

It's not yet too late to evaluate the friends you've 'collected' along the way. I am not saying you should chuck out all the ones you think are not for keeps. Just learn to value the ones who've been with you when you are at rock bottom. Chances are, they will be the ones who will be crying at your bedside and praying for you when you are at death's door.

An issue of trust

I know I can trust them. But up to what extent? They don't really get anything from me anymore. I have no use to them. They get a lot out of the new friends they now have. I just realized now if I can really trust them like I used to do. I freely give my trust to everyone. I always assume that everyone's good and that they won't even think of anything bad about me. But is that still absolute?

I wonder if I should avoid them now. I've done this in the past and have managed to stay afloat. I can do it again.

But I will miss them. Every friend I make is like a family member to me already.

Me, my friends and Starbucks

I miss my friend Shen. Whenever I see Starbucks, our fave coffee shop where we spent countless conversations over designer coffee, I remember her.

She is in Chicago now. It might take her a while before she can come back for a visit. She's like a sister to me and our two other friends Tim and Jing. We are actually sisters, kindred souls.

I just miss my friend. I know she's doing well in her new home and I am very happy for her! Soon, she'll come home for a visit and there will be lots and lots of things to talk about for sure.

;)

Will be missing you...

By next Saturday, at the same time, my good friend Shen will be on her way to a new life abroad. She will surely be missed. She's the one who we can easily drag anywhere and won't complain about it. She's also the one whom you can depend on to always be there.

We will really miss her...

Friends...

Those who appear in your life - whether to help or to harm - are all given by God.
Meet all of them with a peaceful heart, but with a warrior's spirit.
You will fail many times, but in failing you will learn, and in learning, you will find your way.
Remember, there are no mistakes in life - only lessons.
And lessons will keep on repeating themselves… until learned.
- Wendy, message sent last 2/12/07

Friends are inspirations to me. In everything that they do/say or have done/said, I get something out of that. Lessons in life. And I believe that you may not know it, I may not know it, but in everything that we do, we help a friend in ways we cannot comprehend.

14 years and counting :)

How long have you known your very best friend?

This question got me thinking. Do I have a very best friend? I have really good friends: Tim, Jing and Shen. These are the people I am still connected with after all these years. They are my high school friends. Of the three, I was closest to Shen back then. My mom and I even used to hang out at her place. I am still close to Shen but I think I am closest to Tim the past few years. With Shen disappearing for months on end at times, Tim and I bonded more.

When I actually take stock of the friends I have, the one I can really call my very best friend is May. She is my college classmate. We were not really close back in college. It so happened that I jokingly called her bespren for a couple of years simply because I used to demand favors from her during enrollment/registration days. And then we get to work together in Ortigas Center. She in HSBC while I worked for a talent management, then a creative agency. We really got close during that time.

It was during those years when I was working in Ortigas Center that tough challenges came my way. It was during all those years that the only friend who stood by me through it all was May. During the happy and the sad, she was there. Especially during the really tough times. I couldn't remember ever hearing a No from her during the tough times. I couldn't remember a day that I was not able to turn to her even for a day of fun to alleviate my situation that time. She was there for me and my family. AND she never ever asked anything in return!

I guess I now have a very best friend, huh! And I've known her since 2nd year college. That makes it 14 years now!

Moving for your man?

How come women are always expected to move to where the guy is? My friend is already planning her life in another country. She knows no one in that part of the world. Only her man. She hasn't even met the future in-laws personally. She only talks to them via chat and Facebook.

The guy knows a lot of people in this side of the world. He travels to this country from time to time for business. The last time he traveled here, he spent some time off work to be with my friend.

I have nothing against a woman moving in with a man. But why can't the guy spend more time here first? Or that my friend can have the option to NOT move her whole life to where the guy is?

It just makes me wonder...

Stayed through the good and the bad

I have friends who have stayed through thick and thin. Two friends who immediately came to mind is May and Shen. These two persons have seen me go through the most difficult times of my life. They didn't leave my side even when the going got tough.

I will forever appreciate the friendship and support they've shown me. It will forever be treasured in my heart.